4 Spectacular Eyes

It’s a snowy Sunday morning, family is calm (girls are asleep, husband out hunting), hot cup of tea by my side, I pull out some work to do in the comfort and warmth of my bed.


Not staged, actual scene of the crime. I make no excuses.

Soon after, I reach for my glasses.

This is new.

It crept up on me, and yet I took it personally, this need for assistance in my vision. I blamed my allergies, a cold, fatigue… until finally I decided it was worth getting an eye examination. Not a fan of wrinkles, I noticed I’d been squinting. Not good. At my last check-up I had “better than 20/20”, whatever that means, so how bad could it be? Within a week I became a glass-wearer. Darn. It seems screen time is the culprit.

Double darn.

Mr. Optometrist didn’t know what he had coming, and in hind-sight (urgh) I may have been what’s known as a difficult patient. I booked 20 minutes out of a jam-packed day to get in and out of the office (yea right). There are not words to describe the pressure to “get it right” on the eye exam. Discussing “readers” I could not fathom wearing glasses on the edge of my nose like an 80-year-old Baba. Then, I may have threatened to kick him in the shin if he said the word Bi-Focal again.  Not pretty. After an hour and fifteen minutes, I’d moved on to the lovely lady at the front, who showed me 228 different pairs of glasses. I came back to the first ones I had picked up myself- the ones she called boring. I assured her I was alright with boring, boring suits me just fine. As one last kick in the butt, Mr. O returns with a smirk, and says, “Did you really think as a Computer Teacher you would NOT need glasses?”

Deep breaths. Lots of them. How did I get to this point? I made a deal with my body a long time ago. I treat it well and it does the things I ask of it. Simple. With few exceptions, we’ve managed quite well over the years. I’m not saying the number of years hasn’t crossed my mind- it has- 37 of them. So I had exactly one week to get this straight in my mind because I have a responsibitlity- 3 little girls are going to watch me closely as I handle this. My daughters LOVE my glasses. I’m perfectly cool by their standards. Husband- perfectly fine with things as well. And it turns out, so am I.

What’s interesting, however, are the stereotypes I’ve been noticing with much more clarity. On Family Channel, the teen wears contacts and one day sleeps in, has to wear her dark-rimmed specs and is instantly transformed into a geek. The sexy librarian exists only when she has released her bun with glasses flung to the floor. Yet Sexy-Joe-Cool’s glasses add mystery. In the evening, Taye Diggs does no wrong in his horn-rimmed hunkiness. What gives? Miss Representation needs to hear about this!

So here’s a screen caption… kinda’ says it all. And the angels are awake, the course work is (sort of) done, and we move on with our day. Time for tea number 2.

Yep. Sunday morning.



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